Hello, I'm Vanessa, a creative living in Los Angeles.

I play bass.

I make dance music.

I write stories.

My journey as a human can be summed up in one word: chaotic. I felt as if I were living a double life in my formative years. At home I was steely, reserved, and studious, exactly what my immigrant family required of me. Away from their watch I was irreverent, imaginative, goofy; I liked this version more. If only somebody had lectured me on duality...

The expectations ingrained by my family and the conventions imposed by a society that often misjudged my cultural identity left me a depressive mess, stuck in limbo for more years than I care to admit. When I finished self-medicating—which, surprise surprise, didn't help—I started reading. I checked my ego, flipped my logical switch, and convinced myself that there is no way I am the only one experiencing whatever this is. Turns out I was right.

Around this time, an era I refer to as the "Intro to Self-Soothing for Age Adult," I enrolled in Diana Castle's The Imagined Life. Guided by Faline England, I explored acting through the lens of Buddhism, acting through empathy. Here, I learned to see the interconnectedness of all human experiences and started to believe that I don't have go through this alone.

My masks started to come down.

The version of myself I was projecting started to vanish.

The person I am started to show up, because I finally believed that she was enough.

I'm still a work in progress, and hope to be one for the rest of my life. With Totem and the practice of Circles, I would like to guide us in finding our authentic selves, the selves that are free. Because we are enough as we are right now.