Sometimes caring for someone means sitting with the uncomfortable truth that we cannot fix what they are going through. Our support may not be wanted, our advice may not be taken, and the people we love may make choices we do not understand or agree with.

This Space explores the helplessness, frustration, and even rejection that can come with wanting to help someone who is not ready to receive it. Together, we’ll reflect on the difference between supporting and rescuing, how to respect someone else’s autonomy, and what it looks like to care deeply without carrying responsibility for their choices or outcomes.

Come to a Space where you can exhale.
You spend your days listening, supporting, and showing up for others. This is a Space for therapists, doctors, nurses, counselors, first responders, social workers, and anyone in a healing or caregiving role. Here, you can pause, reflect, and be held in return. Together we explore what it means to care without losing yourself and to remember the heart behind your work.

The weight of the world feels lighter when we hold it together.

Low Pressure, Low Commitment
We know how easy it is to prioritize everyone else and how hard it can be to carve out time for yourself. Join us as you can and as you are. Seats are limited, so we ask that you try to release your spot at least 12 hours before the session if you cannot attend.

Community-Driven Support
This Space is not a supervision group or professional training, but a shared place for helpers to connect on a human level. Our trained Keepers ensure everyone has time to speak and be heard. We do not give advice or analyze, but offer a listening ear and shared understanding from those who know what it means to care deeply.

A Safe and Confidential Environment
Your safety and confidentiality are our priorities. What is shared here stays here. Our digital platform is secure, and our community is built on trust and mutual respect.

What We Discuss
We talk about the realities of giving care: compassion fatigue, boundaries, empathy, and purpose. If you are new to our Spaces, we post discussion topics before sign-up to ease any anxiety about joining. Don’t see a topic that resonates? Email heather@totem.org with your suggestions.

Who Is This Space For?
This Space is for anyone whose work or life centers on helping others heal. Whether you are a professional caregiver, community volunteer, or family member in a support role, you are welcome here. We celebrate diversity of experience and background. Bullying, shaming, or forced opinions are never tolerated. Our intention is to create a space where helpers feel seen, supported, and renewed.

When and How Do We Meet?
We meet digitally every two weeks to make participation easy for those with demanding schedules. Cameras are optional, and you’re welcome to join from wherever you are, even between shifts. We only ask that you find a private place to join or use headphones to help maintain the security of everyone present.

If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.

-Jack Kornfield