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Performing Safety: How We Use Pleasing to Avoid Conflict

How to Stop People Pleasing
with Vanessa
Starting Jun 27, 2025 3AM UTC
Updated Jun 27, 2025

About this Session

🎭 People-pleasing often begins as a way to keep the peace—to avoid tension, protect relationships, or stay safe.

In this session, we’ll explore how conflict avoidance can become second nature, and what it might look like to feel safe without needing to perform.

  • What roles have you played?
  • Are you ready to put them down?

🩵 Why not talk about it? 🩵


👉 Interested in our people-pleasing support group but can't make the timing work? Drop us an email!

Not quite sure if you're a people pleaser? Read our blog to learn more about people pleasing!

About this Space

Always saying yes, even when you’re drained? Feel responsible for everyone’s happiness but your own?

This space is for those of us who’ve built our identities around keeping the peace—at the cost of our own needs. Together, we’ll unpack where our people-pleasing tendencies come from, how they show up in our relationships, and what healthier boundaries might look like. No fixing, no judgment—just honest conversations and shared growth. You don’t have to keep shrinking to be loved.

Why Join?

  • You’re tired of putting yourself last.
  • You want to learn how to set boundaries without guilt.
  • You’re curious about how people-pleasing started for you—and how to shift it.
  • You’re looking for a space where others get it, and you don’t have to perform.

What We’ll Talk About:

  • The roots of people-pleasing (childhood, social conditioning, trauma)
  • The difference between kindness and self-abandonment
  • Guilt, resentment, and burnout
  • Boundaries that don’t feel like walls
  • How to say “no” with love—and mean it
  • Reclaiming your time, energy, and identity

🩵 Our people-pleasing support group is built on storytelling and curiosity. There are no right or wrong answers here—just space to explore why we do what we do, and how we might begin to choose differently. Why not talk about it?🩵

Meet the Keeper

Vanessa is a Los Angeles-based musician, writer, and recovering hot mess. She's confronted many challenges, from battling undiagnosed depression, to grappling with identity struggles, and fully acknowledges the difficulty of handling complex emotions alone. Through her journey of self-improvement, she's learned how to take action in her life, turning negative …

Reach out to the Keeper: [email protected]
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