From St. Nicholas and the teachings of Jesus to the modern-day Santa Claus, December is full of stories about generosity, kindness, and selflessness. We're taught that giving is good, that putting others first is noble, and that the most generous people ask for nothing in return.

But when does generosity become obligation? When does selflessness turn into martyrdom? And who's taking care of the people who spend their lives taking care of everyone else?

In this session, we'll explore the stories and beliefs that have shaped our relationships with giving, the joy of being generous, the pressure to be selfless, and why sometimes the hardest person to extend kindness to is ourselves.

Come to a Space where you can exhale.
You spend your days listening, supporting, and showing up for others. This is a Space for therapists, doctors, nurses, counselors, first responders, social workers, and anyone in a healing or caregiving role. Here, you can pause, reflect, and be held in return. Together we explore what it means to care without losing yourself and to remember the heart behind your work.

The weight of the world feels lighter when we hold it together.

Low Pressure, Low Commitment
We know how easy it is to prioritize everyone else and how hard it can be to carve out time for yourself. Join us as you can and as you are. Seats are limited, so we ask that you try to release your spot at least 12 hours before the session if you cannot attend.

Community-Driven Support
This Space is not a supervision group or professional training, but a shared place for helpers to connect on a human level. Our trained Keepers ensure everyone has time to speak and be heard. We do not give advice or analyze, but offer a listening ear and shared understanding from those who know what it means to care deeply.

A Safe and Confidential Environment
Your safety and confidentiality are our priorities. What is shared here stays here. Our digital platform is secure, and our community is built on trust and mutual respect.

What We Discuss
We talk about the realities of giving care: compassion fatigue, boundaries, empathy, and purpose. If you are new to our Spaces, we post discussion topics before sign-up to ease any anxiety about joining. Don’t see a topic that resonates? Email heather@totem.org with your suggestions.

Who Is This Space For?
This Space is for anyone whose work or life centers on helping others heal. Whether you are a professional caregiver, community volunteer, or family member in a support role, you are welcome here. We celebrate diversity of experience and background. Bullying, shaming, or forced opinions are never tolerated. Our intention is to create a space where helpers feel seen, supported, and renewed.

When and How Do We Meet?
We meet digitally every two weeks to make participation easy for those with demanding schedules. Cameras are optional, and you’re welcome to join from wherever you are, even between shifts. We only ask that you find a private place to join or use headphones to help maintain the security of everyone present.

If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.

-Jack Kornfield