Sometimes it’s not the big thing that breaks us. It’s the clogged drain. The unanswered text. The pile of dishes. The sound of someone asking one more thing from us when we are already operating far past our capacity.

And suddenly, something flips.

Maybe you become impatient or lashout. Maybe everything feels personal. Small frustrations start feeling like proof that nobody understands, nobody helps, nobody sees how hard you’re trying. Maybe you cry, dissociate, spiral, go numb, break something, cancel plans, call out of work, or become a version of yourself you barely recognize.

Not because you’re bad.
Not because you’re failing.
But because your body, brain, and nervous system have been carrying too much for too long.

This Space is for talking honestly about what happens when we run out of spoons — or patience, capacity, energy, tolerance, whatever language feels right for you. It’s for recognizing our patterns without shame and learning to see our reactions as information instead of moral failures.

We'll consider: how do we hold compassion for ourselves when survival mode changes the way we move through the world?

We’ll talk about burnout, overwhelm, resentment, and the math of trying to ration energy in a world that never stops asking for more.

You do not have to show up polished or emotionally regulated here. In fact, you can show up uneasy and embarrassed because this Space gets it.

Tell a Spoonie. See ya'll soon.

Vibe: Rest without apology. Truth without proof.

This Space is for people living with chronic pain, chronic illness, or the blurry in-between. It’s for when you’re tired of being doubted, tired of being strong, and just… tired. Here, you don’t have to convince anyone of what you live with. You don’t have to downplay it or over-perform to be believed.

🫂 THIS SPACE IS FOR YOU IF:

• You’ve lost jobs, friendships, or parts of yourself to pain or illness.
• You’re managing symptoms and managing the disbelief of others.
• You’re tired of suggestions. You want solidarity, not solutions.
• You want accommodations, and also don’t want to be seen as “less.”
• You say “I’m fine” when you’re not, because it’s easier.
• You follow every health routine—or ignore them—because both are survival.
• You’re stuck between wanting a diagnosis and fearing what it could mean.
• You’re just looking for one hour where you don’t have to pretend you’re OK.

In this Space, we honor boundaries, rest, rage, and contradiction. We don’t require “silver linings” or progress updates. We believe that grief, joy, shame, and relief all have room here.

💬 TOPICS WE MAY EXPLORE:

• Support Without Fixing
• Asking for Accommodations
• Grief for the “Before” Self
• Medical Trauma and Mistrust
• Invisible Illness
• Wellness Culture Disillusionment
• Coping Trade-offs
• Needing a Break From Illness Talk
• Being Seen Fully

💚 WHY THIS SPACE MATTERS:

Living with chronic illness or pain can make the world feel like it’s not built for you. You navigate every day carrying weight others can’t see—constantly adapting, advocating, and enduring. That’s why this Space matters. It gives you permission to just be.

You can join with your camera off, mid-flare, horizontal, silent. You can show up as you are: sick, uncertain, angry, lonely, laughing, grieving. This is your hour to not be productive. To not teach anyone. To not perform wellness. To be more than a diagnosis—and more than a body in pain.

This Space is held twice a month on Tuesday's. Tell a Spoonie. See ya'll soon!

Please reach out to Claire if you need any accomodations to participate in this Space: claire@totem.org.