Freedom. It’s a word that carries weight, but what does it really mean? The right to vote? Freedom of speech? And yet, so many freedoms go unnoticed—the choice of what to wear, what to eat, what to watch, and even where to use the restroom.
Taking Freedom For Granted
Lately, the world around me has felt increasingly out of my control. The relentless news cycle, the soaring cost of living—it all feels overwhelming. But when I step back, I realize how much freedom I truly have. Every day, I wake up in a bed I chose, shower in the privacy of my home, and dress in clothes that reflect my identity. These small, seemingly mundane choices are ones I often take for granted.
And yet, they are luxuries for so many. I am reminded of this each time I visit the women in 1CW at Buncombe County Jail. As I am buzzed onto the unit, I see them in standard-issue orange and brown jumpsuits, wearing plastic slippers, confined in a room they didn’t choose, surrounded by roommates they didn’t pick. Yet, despite the loss of nearly every freedom, they greet me with joy—and, more profoundly, with gratitude.
The Journey to 1CW
Entering the jail is an ordeal. I park my black Kia Sportage at a paid meter, climb a hill, ascend one flight of stairs, and enter the county building. At the reception desk, one of the two stationed guards calls the cell block to check if they’re ready for me. After approval, the control center buzzes me through a locked door to an elevator, which delivers me to the correct floor. I walk to 1CW, waiting in the cold, impersonal hallway, surrounded by the heavy scent of confinement, until the block guard acknowledges me.
Then, it’s another set of plexiglass doors, another buzz, another checkpoint. Finally, I reach the block and set up the room for our program. Sliding the long plastic tables into place, their loud, protesting squeals echo in the space—almost as if they, too, have a story to tell. This is where the magic of Totem happens.
What Gives me the Right?
Totem’s Spaces are built on shared experiences—moms lead Mom’s Spaces, survivors lead grief Spaces. So why do I lead the Women’s Jail Space when I’ve never been incarcerated?
Because the truth is, I am no different from the women in Buncombe County Jail. I am, was, and always will be just one life situation away from where they are—just as they are one life situation away from my seat. And each time I show up for them, I hope to remind them of that truth.
Conversations of Humanity
What do we talk about? Everything. Love and heartbreak. Family and friendships. Favorite ice cream flavors. Yes, we discuss jail life—the children and loved ones they miss, their upcoming court dates, the food they can barely stomach. They tell me what led them here—stories that make me shudder. Stories of violence, oppression, and pain I wish I could take away. But more than anything, we talk about hope. We envision the lives we all want and the road it takes to get there.
To learn more about what we talk about check out our Evolving Through Incarceration page.
We Are All the Same
These women aren’t my “work.” They aren’t charity cases for Totem. They have become my community—people whose lives and well-being I am deeply invested in. Our presence as an organization is not just important—it is necessary. Many have swept these women under society’s tattered rug, but to those people, I say: spend an hour in Space with us. Listen to their dreams, their pain, their unwavering love for one another, and it becomes undeniable—we are all the same. Tied together by the human experience, through our love and through our scars.
If you want to be part of this community-driven change, consider supporting Totem. Whether through donations, advocacy, or simply spreading the word, every effort helps us continue creating Spaces for connection and healing.
No Obligation, Just Humanity
The beauty of what we do at Totem—and with these women—is that it’s not about obligation. There is no religious doctrine telling us this is what we “should” do for some future reward. There is no recognition or accolade. There is only the deeply human act of being present.
The women in 1CW inspire me. They give me hope. And they remind me, every single time, how precious freedom truly is.
Join us in fostering a world where no one is forgotten. Get involved with Totem today.